Mary Rabin - Personal Assistant to the CEO of Hello Heart

Mary · 0:00

Hi, everyone. My name is Mary Rabin. Today, the leadership quote comes from Michael Jordan. Earn your leadership every day.

Speaker 2 · 0:14

The Leader Assistant Podcast exists to encourage and challenge assistants to become confident, game-changing leader assistants.

Jeremy · 0:30

Good morning, all executive assistants. Are you looking for a way to elevate your skills or earn that promotion you've been eyeing? Nova Chief of Staff's online certification course provides you with the knowledge and confidence you need to stand out on the job. Whether you want to land your dream position or level up in your current role, Nova's self-paced course gives you hands-on practice doing what Chiefs of Staff do every day. Visit leaderassistant.com/nova to learn more and secure your spot. That's leaderassistant.com/nova. Hey friends, welcome to The Leader Assistant Podcast. It's your host Jeremy Burrows and welcome to episode 259. You can check out the show notes at leaderassistant.com/259. leaderassistant.com/259 to check out links to today's guest and the bio and all the fun stuff, links to my sponsor and everything on the show notes. So today, I'm excited to be speaking with Mary Rabin. Mary has over a decade of experience as a personal executive assistant. And we've got some fun topics to chat about. But Mary, first of all, welcome to the show.

Mary · 1:57

Thanks for having me.

Jeremy · 1:58

Yeah, you're welcome. Thanks for, you know, I posted on LinkedIn. I said, hey, every assistant has a story to share. So I encourage the assistants of the world to step out of their comfort zone and reach out and say, hey, I want to be on the show. And Mary, you did that. So props to you for having courage to do that.

Mary · 2:18

Thank you. Thank you.

Jeremy · 2:20

So you're in a different part of the world than I am right now. And you said, you know, currently, I'm looking out my window in Kansas City, Missouri, and there's snow on the ground and you're in a part of the world that never gets snow. So tell us where you're at.

Mary · 2:33

I live in Tel Aviv, Israel. We never get snow here. And winter is basically just rainy, but we don't even get a lot of rain. So nothing close to where you are right now.

Jeremy · 2:47

Great. Well, it's awesome to speak with an assistant on the other side of the world. Tell us about how you got into the role of an assistant. How did you end up as you began your career and got into the working world? How did you end up as an assistant?

Mary · 3:03

I feel like being an assistant, everyone just accidentally started as being an assistant. So it's funny because my story is the same. I finished school, I finished college, I studied communications and management, and I was sure I was going to be a journalist. And the day after I finished school, my friend told me that her brother-in-law is an entrepreneur, and he's looking for an office manager and an assistant to his office here in Tel Aviv. I at first was nervous because I've never done it, but then I heard of the pay and it was much more than what the newspaper office offered me. I'm like, okay, I'm just a student, so I want to make more money. I started with him and that's where my journey began. He left to London after two and a half years, and I wanted to stay in Tel Aviv. So I moved to being an assistant to CEO of the biggest advertisement company here in Israel. Through him, I met an entrepreneur who was opening a startup in real estate in New York City. And I think that was the big step of my career when I just decided one day to pack up my stuff. I sold my car, I left my apartment in Tel Aviv, and I hopped on a plane to New York. The beginning was not easy at all because he... I don't know if he ignored my emails when I got there or he just missed them because he's a CEO. But for three months, I never heard back from him. And I was just with $7,000 in the big city trying to survive doing babysitting jobs and trying to apply to other places. But I only got no, because nobody knew my background because it's from a foreign country. After three months, I called my best friend who lived those days in Toronto. And I told her, listen, I failed. I'm going back. And she told me, you email him again. And if you don't, I will. I emailed him one last time. He replied after three minutes, told me to come to his office the following day. And there I was. And I worked for his company for about four and a half years. So that's a story to share. Never give up, people. Never give up. After four and a half years, COVID hit and changed everyone's plans. I moved back to my family in Israel. And I worked remotely for almost a year for the company New York. But I felt like an assistant needs to be in person. Like it was fun during COVID, but I felt like I want to be the best assistant I could be. And it needs to be in an office. So I decided to leave that job. And I found a job by working out today. That's my journey.

Jeremy · 6:11

That's an incredible journey for sure. And then where, you know, you mentioned this to me before we started recording. But where are your parents from?

Mary · 6:22

Yeah. So my dad is from Cleveland, Ohio. My mom is from West Orange, New Jersey. They met at a wedding in New York. I hope I'm not mistaken. Got married, moved to Cleveland, had my two older sisters. My dad got a job offer in Tel Aviv, packed up his family and moved here. My sister and I were born here. And I was born and raised here, but in an American house. So it was kind of funny to grow up in Israel because it's such a different mentality with American parents.

Jeremy · 7:00

Wow, that's crazy. Well, thanks for sharing your story. So what's been maybe your favorite part about being an assistant over the years?

Mary · 7:13

My favorite part, I must say, is, I think, just knowing that I'm helping people go out through their day smoothly. Like I go into bed at night, I fall asleep, and I know my boss is on the correct flight she needs to be. She has her schedule for tomorrow. Everyone has their itinerary, and I do what I love every day. It's not an easy job, as people think. You know, sometimes throughout my career, people will be like, Oh, so all you do is make coffee, you grab her lunch, you open the door for her. And first of all, let me tell you, yeah, I do make her coffee. And I love grabbing her lunch for my boss and for my other bosses I supported. That's also part of the job. But we do so much more. Like, we do so much more that people don't understand that we run the show basically behind the scenes. So I do think our position is like number one in the company.

Jeremy · 8:20

Well said. I agree. I am on board with that. Yeah, that's great. So, you know, a couple of topics that you shared were, you know, one was supporting a woman executive versus a man executive. And then one was not how to not lose your identity once you support someone for so long and you're just deeply ingrained in their lives, especially as doing personal assistant work as well. So let's start off with the first one. You know, what was the difference, you know, throughout your career? So I'm assuming because you brought this topic up that you've supported male executives and also female executives. So talk to us about the differences throughout your experience in supporting both types.

Speaker 4 · 9:17

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Mary · 10:05

Sure. So I supported up to my job currently here in Tel Aviv. I supported only male executives. And I felt like everything would always go so smoothly. I would basically manage them. I would tell them what to do, where to be. Everything was just easier. That's how I felt. And if you ask my executive that I support today, which is a female, what was the first thing I told her in our interview? She asked me, what are you afraid of? So I straight up told her that you're a woman. Because I only supported male executives, and I was afraid of it because I know women. I'm a woman. There's dramas. There's motherhood. All kinds of things that come along with that. So yeah, now that I'm a year with my executive, I feel the difference. But the one thing that is an advantage supporting a woman is every weekly one-on-one we have, she always opens with, how are you? Like, how are you doing? And we sometimes can get into deep conversations, you know, like a woman to a woman, which I never had with my male executives. Like, they were always super nice, but they would never like go deep. So this is something I find actually nice to have. But it's two different worlds.

Jeremy · 11:41

Yeah, well said. I think I've always supported male executives, and, you know, I'm kind of a unique, in a unique role in the sense of 98% or 96% to 98% of assistants of the world are female. And so being a male assistant is a minority in this profession. But I have had that privilege of what you mentioned, is that like deep connection and that kind of like, I don't know, there's certain things that, you know, you're going to talk to your male CEO about versus if, you know, if he had a female assistant or if I had a female executive, it's just, there's just different dynamics. Not that one's better than the other, but it's just different dynamics that you can utilize, almost like personalities, you know, when you're working with an executive with this personality, there's pros and cons to it. And so, yeah, that's cool that you've had that experience with both. And yeah, thanks for sharing. Sure. So, okay, so you support, you do both personal and executive assisting, is that right?

Mary · 12:56

Yes, yes. Today I do both worlds. I support both worlds. Personal is everything from styling to household to my CEO is a mother, so also taking care of the schedule of her son, babysitters, running that, and all kinds of personal issues that she needs to be done. My CEO, she travels a lot. It's an international company. So let's say three weeks out of the month, she's traveling. Yeah, so there's a lot of personal stuff to take care of when she's not here. And also I support her executive-wise. That's everything to do with the business. Only recently we joined to our team Chief of Staff. So that's a nice fresh air that I got after one year of doing both. Also my first time actually working in a team. Always I was the only person. I've never been part of a team. I'm sure other EAs relate to that. We've never been part of a team. It's such a solo role. And now I have this Chief of Staff with me, so it's fun. I can also vent. She also understands me. She deals with the same person. So workload is different. So I can't say that I have less work since she joined. But yeah, so I take care of my executives' travels, schedule, meetings, itinerary agendas, you know, what we all do.

Jeremy · 14:49

Love it. So I actually have always supported, well, as I've supported CEOs, which is most of my career as an assistant, I've supported them personally and professionally. And so I prefer that because I feel like they have one life and I'm managing their one life. And that involves personal, that involves professional. Which do you have, like a preference toward either side? Like, are you more excited about personal assistant stuff or more excited about professional or you just kind of go with the flow and love it all?

Mary · 15:25

I think it depends on the day. If we're having a good day, personal wise, then I would be happy doing those kind of tasks. But as you said, I just see the two worlds are one world of the executive. So maybe for me, I divided to professional and personal. But for the exec, it's all one world, all merges together. So I think both excite me in the same way and much to do in both worlds.

Jeremy · 16:01

So tell us a little bit about the Chief of Staff thing then. So what has been something you've learned now that you're part of a team? And was there any sort of initial, okay, wait, is this my job or is this the Chief of Staff job? Like, was there anything like that as far as working with the Chief of Staff?

Mary · 16:20

So one fear I want to share that I had was like, okay, what does this mean? Now I'm supporting two people. Now I'm going to support the Chief of Staff because she'll be traveling with the CEO. So now I need to book travels for her. Like first was a bit like I had fear. And also, I also liked being the one person that my exec trusts. And so I was a bit afraid of that. But first of all, we clicked from day one. We're almost the same age, so we understand each other. She's based in LA, so we have like a 10-hour difference between us. So that's a bit hard to connect during the week, but we find our time. And I just find it having it easier to have her on the team. She helps me with all like leadership meeting, preparing for board meeting, and it takes a lot off of my plate so I can be focused in logistics and as we said, like the personal life of my exec. So it's definitely an advantage, and I'm happy that we clicked, because I think if we wouldn't click, that would be a big issue.

Jeremy · 17:38

Right. Yeah, that's great. I know I've heard stories with, you know, horror stories of executives and chiefs of staff kind of button heads and not getting along. And so that's great that you guys are starting off on the right foot. So, you know, being ingrained with the personal life of your executive and supporting them for a while, you get so deeply ingrained in their lives. You know, you know, you know, their kids. Sometimes you know, you feel like you know their kids better than they know their kids or, you know, their life better than they know their own life. How have you held on to your own identity as Mary Rabin, you know, versus losing it because you're so ingrained in what's going on with their life?

Mary · 18:37

Let me tell you, Jeremy, it's a challenge. It's a challenge I deal with daily. It's not been easy just because I'm so dedicated to my work. So I always want to be the best EA and the best version of Mary I can be. So I always want to give even more than what I do. And sometimes that drains me out and I can get to a point where I'm burnt out from everything. So that's something I definitely need to work on, my OCD of being the best EA. The way I deal with it that I found that helps me is like, I know an EA is a 24-7 hour, like we never stop. We never stop. So I can't say like from 9 to 6, this is my job. And from 6 p.m. I'm back to being Mary. But I think I just learned to bring out my personality more during the day, using a lot of humor and trying to just ease the day. Also, finding time to just hang out in the office with other employees. I'm also part of the people team in the office here in Tel Aviv. So we do have this kind of part of like a... I always say I have like deep inside of me a social worker. So I find time to like stroll around the office, sit down with employees and that's where I can like disconnect for like a few minutes from my actual job. And that helps me.

Jeremy · 20:28

That's great. Well, what is your... What would be your words of wisdom or your challenge? Maybe your kind of final thoughts, if you will, for executive assistants of the world who are listening. And yeah, if there's one thing you could say to the assistants of the world, what would you say?

Mary · 20:58

First, I want to say that we rule the world. We basically do. We handle everything. It's behind scenes, but our execs know. Our execs know how hard we work, and I just hope all the EAs around the world are appreciated and their execs tell them every day how much they appreciate their work, and they say please and thank you, and don't be shy to demand it, because we need to hear that. And that's it. I just hope everyone... I think this is a job that you can't learn to be an EA. You need to be born with it. You need to love this kind of work.

Jeremy · 21:53

I've just always loved helping others. And I think that's to your point. It's like, if you don't enjoy helping others, this is probably not the job for you.

Mary · 22:04

No, it's not. Definitely not.

Jeremy · 22:08

Awesome, Mary. Well, thank you so much for being on the show. Where's the best place for people to reach out if they want to say hi?

Mary · 22:18

LinkedIn would be the best place.

Jeremy · 22:22

Well, I'll put your LinkedIn link in the show notes at leaderassistant.com/259, leaderassistant.com/259. Before we go though, Mary, I would love, I've done this a few times in the past, English is your second language, and I would love to hear you say something along the lines of, thank you for listening to The Leader Assistant Podcast or something like that in your first language of Hebrew, is that right?

Mary · 22:56

Yes.

Jeremy · 22:56

Yeah, so I'd love to have you do something along those lines in your original first language.

Mary · 23:05

Thank you all for listening to The Leader Assistant Podcast.

Jeremy · 23:18

Beautiful. Thank you so much for doing that. Now, tell us what you said.

Mary · 23:23

I basically said thank you for listening, and I hope you liked my story, and who knows, maybe we'll meet in the future.

Jeremy · 23:32

Perfect. Great way to end the conversation. Thank you so much, Mary, and best of luck to you. And hopefully you can come over and experience a snowstorm someday.

Mary · 23:43

Start one day.

Speaker 2 · 23:56

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