Hilani Ellis on What Executives Look for in an Executive Assistant

Jeremy · 0:00

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Hilani · 0:46

Hi, I'm Hilani Ellis, and today's leadership quote comes from Benjamin Franklin. For every minute spent organizing, an hour is earned.

Speaker 3 · 1:02

The Leader Assistant Podcast exists to encourage and challenge assistants to become confident, game-changing leader assistants.

Jeremy · 1:19

Hey friends, my best-selling book, The Leader Assistant, has a companion study and discussion guide to go along with it. It's called The Leader Assistant Workbook. Now, you can buy the Kindle ebook version of The Leader Assistant Workbook on Amazon, or you can go to leaderassistantbook.com and get a printable PDF version of the workbook. This version has all the space and margin in between the questions that you can write your own answers and take notes with. So it's a great way to print it out and keep track of your discussion and study guide notes. Again, go to leaderassistantbook.com and click on workbook to check out The Leader Assistant Workbook. Hey, friends, welcome to The Leader Assistant Podcast. It's your host, Jeremy Burrows, and I'm excited to be publishing episode 317. You can check out the show notes at leaderassistant.com/317. leaderassistant.com/317. Find all the links and bio and headshots and all those things, all the fun stuff for today's conversation. And speaking of today's conversation, I'm excited to be speaking with Hilani Ellis. Hilani is the founder of Exceptional Admins, a specialized headhunting firm renowned for connecting top talent with high-demand roles. And she's been doing this for over eight years or so. So, Hilani, welcome to the show.

Hilani · 2:47

Thank you so much, Jeremy, for having me. And congratulations. 317 episodes is a lot. And I know what goes into doing that, having a podcast myself, even though I sunset it in December of 2024. But congratulations, that's a huge feat.

Jeremy · 3:02

Thank you. Yeah, it's been a wild ride. And we're going to keep going as long as I as long as I can find lovely people like yourself to talk to, then we'll keep going. So thanks for thanks for being on the show. What what part of the world are you in? And maybe tell us what your favorite thing to do when you're not working is.

Hilani · 3:20

Ah, I am joining you virtually here from Denver, Colorado, with a beautiful, but crisp 48 degree weather. And the sun is shining and it's amazing and early, excuse me, late October, 2023, I took up golfing. And so I've been having a lot of fun with both the wow, that was a great swing and oh my gosh, that really sucked. And so it definitely keeps me on my toes. And so when I'm not in my home office, you know, typing away and working on a variety of things, I can absolutely be found on the fairway somewhere on a golf course nearby.

Jeremy · 4:00

Nice. I know I like the idea of being outside and beautiful landscaping of golf, but I am more of a putt-putt guy myself.

Hilani · 4:11

That's actually very good because when you get to the green, where the pin is, that's really where the game that you want to master, not at the tee box, not on the fairway. So if you're not a putt-putt, you actually could be really good if you took up golf.

Jeremy · 4:25

Nice. Good to know. Good to know. Awesome. Well, tell us a little bit about your career and, yeah, just how you ended up doing what you're doing now. Just give us a little summary of your career journey.

Hilani · 4:41

Amazing. You know, it's so neat when I look in the rearview mirror today and just think about where I've been. And I'd love to talk about this from the stage as well when I've said I did this before we had the iPhone. So I started accidentally as an executive assistant, as a receptionist first to a radio company that did syndication of certain shows across the nation. And I actually landed that receptionist position because I was tired of waitressing. My background does not include a degree. I do have a degree in a scrappy, classy university, which is something I leverage a lot now as a business owner and a founder of a boutique company. And I was a receptionist at the front desk and it was so boring. It was not great for my personality. And there was an individual that had an office on our floor. And I constantly was interacting with her because she was coming by the desk and it was someone to talk to and didn't really know much about her. But she was a radio talk show host and a New York Times bestselling author. And one day she said, you know, I want to bring you back and have you be my executive assistant. I had no idea what I was signing up for. I actually think I was like 19 and a half, almost 20 at the time. And she was this big personality. So I landed into that role and it was in that role that I realized I was put on this earth for this profession. And so much about the profession is being of service to others. And that really tied into who I was as a young lady and always helping out with anything you can think of. Fast forward, I continued my career path in executive assisting in a couple of different organizations. And I did one of the hardest jobs out there, at least in my world, was a stay-at-home mom for eight years. I've got two amazing boys, been married for quite a long time, and was being CEO of the house and really using that time at home with them, essentially running the house like a business. And then I re-entered the workforce in 2013 as an executive assistant to a private equity CEO. And it was amazing in those four years, because by the way, I had had an eight-year gap from doing it, again, circling back to, I believed I was put on this earth for this profession. And I just got back in the saddle. And I loved everything about it. And the Tetris we play with the calendar and the executive decision making you're able to do when you earn agency with your leader. And it was actually in that role here in Denver specifically, because I had left Los Angeles and moved here, that the business leaders, my executive, was constantly interacting with. We were in private equity, so investors and deals with other executives and other firms. They're like, where did you find Hilani? We kind of haven't seen someone with her style before. And he's like, well, we got lucky, right? We had Monster, which no one really uses today. They posted a job, which, by the way, had been up for three months, and they were almost going to take it down. And then I applied. And so that's a fun, long story. But I was asked by one of his best golf partners, you know, will you let her help me find someone? She gets the role, you know, I can't steal her and poach her from you. And I knew my executive knew at the time that I would have fun with that because of that altruistic service, like really loving the profession, problem-solving in creative ways. So that was actually the small launch into fast forward what I'm doing now. And I'm in my ninth year running Exceptional Admins, which is funny. I still to this day give my executive at that time credit because we were sitting together. He had just gotten back from a three-week European trip and like, hey, I got another request from one of your executive friends to do another search for them. And I truly believe I've got a higher calling now. He's like, well, let's talk about it. And he named the company Exceptional Admins. He's like, you've got to call it that. And it's not a good admin. We're looking for exceptional, right? Top talent admins. And the abbreviation is also EA, right? And so it makes complete sense. And so I registered it that night. I already knew what the logo was going to look like. And so all the stars were aligning. And the first year was amazing in a hard way. And fast forward, here I am in my ninth year. And I know we'll talk a little bit more about how that applies to serving your audience here. And so that's my story.

Jeremy · 9:08

Awesome. So what was your, do you have any crazy stories? I was looking at your LinkedIn on the EA career. You know, you worked in entertainment a little bit. Is there any funny stories that you like to share as you're kind of reminiscing about your time as an assistant?

Hilani · 9:27

Yeah, I have two. So in the first job that I had, I lived in LA and I didn't travel with my executive at the time. It kind of wasn't a thing unless you're like really personal assistant for celebrities. And so even though she had a television show, radio, syndicated show, multiple books, she was in New York for her book tour. And at the time we had, which I don't even think exists today, a Nextel two-way walkie talkie cell phone. And it was sort of the next best thing besides a BlackBerry. And which I don't really follow this now, and I probably should, but I kept that cell phone charging in another room. And I was sleeping and it was really in that deep part of my sleep because it was 3 a.m. for me and 6 a.m. for my executive in New York. And because she's up, I clearly now need to be up. And all of a sudden I hear off in the distance, which breaks me out of my deep sleep, there was like a double tap sound when someone was signalling you to get your attention to then respond back and said, you know, like a walkie talkie, you know, hey, I'm here, what's up? And I heard the noise and I sat up quickly in bed, rolled out of bed and my legs had not woken up yet that I completely fell to the floor, which woke up my husband. And he's like, oh, my God, what's happening? And I'm doing the Army soldier crawl because my legs I still had not woken up and I keep hearing her do the double beep. And by the way, a little Devil Wears Prada, I was freaking out. If you don't answer the call, it's a big deal. And the movie Devil Wears Prada hadn't even been out before. And so that was a really funny story. And then a quick second one that is not my story that's crazy is I know when an executive assistant, some admins do this, but the executive comes upstairs and goes, okay, so you need to take the car to get washed and you need to pick up my prescription. But before you do all that, there's a small bag in the passenger seat. And I'm going to need you to take care of that for me. And the assistant is describing this story to me, because when I talk to thousands of them, it's like, tell me your story. Like, let's have some fun. And she says it was dog elements. And I'll just put it that way for our listeners to not freak them out. I'm going to need you to drop that off to the vet's office. And so that's just one. And if I had a black book or even a reality show sometimes, I've said, which I can't because so much of the stuff I talk about is confidential, it would be very entertaining. Let's just put it that way. So personal story and then a side story from someone I've talked to.

Jeremy · 11:55

Nice. Love it. Awesome. Well, thanks for sharing. And I love talking to, obviously, assistants on the show. But then I love talking to people who maybe aren't currently an assistant, but have that background in their journey and their career and have gone on to something else. But I love what you're doing with Exceptional Admins and the headhunting in this industry is very unique, very niche industry. And so it's, I think it's very important for assistance looking for work to find someone in that recruiting, retained search, headhunting, whatever you want to call it, world, that gets the assistance and gets what executives are looking for. And so on that note, I would love for you to talk about what you're seeing and what you've seen in your career, that as you talk with executives, as you talk with chairmans and principles who are looking for an assistant, what are they hungry for in an assistant? What do they look for in an executive assistant? Yeah, what do they want? What do they tell you that they want?

Hilani · 13:09

Yeah, this is a common one. And I'm going to hope a good percentage of your audience has seen the show Suits with, and you're nodding your head, so I'm imagining you have. Side tangent, they think they're going to make one out of LA., so that'll be actually interesting and see if they sort of bring back, which now I'm going to mention to answer the question, the Donna Paulson. And so for those that haven't, fast forward to Andy, which I'm hoping 100% of your audience has watched that, The Devil Wears Prada. The character of Andy, after she had really put together an executive posture, which, yes, in her clothing, but in her executive presence, right? Knowing what Gabbana and how to spell it. That executive presence, and I'll give you some specificity in a second, that executive presence is top top in the top two. And what that actually looks like is, Hilani, I need someone who is confident enough to ask me questions. Because one of the big pain points that continues to come up for these leaders, which makes them hesitant to want to pay the right price, is they've been only introduced to the admin that's the yes admin. Now, granted, there's some circumstances to that and a couple of tangents, but I'll try to stay focused. One of the key things I give is a tip to admins, which is kind of an intellectual question is, you know, hey Jeremy, you're my new executive. You know, please tell me why I'm doing this so I can download data on the why. And also, where Jeremy, my executive, is this a priority for you right now? That's really helping the assistant get closer in sync. That's when you start a new hire. By the way, that's applicable to when you're, you know, onboarding a new executive member and you've been in the role for a while. The big thing is, is that leaders have a lot of skepticism. They don't think that Adana Paulson exists or the later version of Andy in the movie exists. And sometimes that's because they've seen, which excuse me, our audience knows this word, more secretaries out in the population. And so how do we change the bias that is out there? And it truly applies to each and every one of you. Your thumbprint is unique. And the way that you position yourself. And so they asked for the Adana Paulson, which is a little bit of a joke, but it's actually a starting qualifier for me. And the third thing that really, I mean, it's kind of like a five-year-old on Christmas morning lights up these leaders when I'm beautifully talking to them at length, one-on-one, Hilani, I just make too many decisions. And I always tell the admins that I work with, whether it's through coaching or placing them, one of your top three jobs is to get closer and closer to helping alleviate some of their decision fatigue, which allows you to have that ability to make executive recommendations, not always an executive decision. And when you have executive recommendations, hey, we're presented with this problem. I've done some due diligence. I've talked to so-and-so. Here's my three recommendations. We're immediately allowing them to start with your three. And by the way, if they don't want your three, you still help them because your three inspired and sparked ideas to then tell you what they wanted, which if we thought about the span of time, we're shortening time, which is also buying them back capacity, giving them the opportunity to achieve more without compromising for life that's over-exhaustive. So decision-making, the right posture to ask questions, and a level of excitement and curiosity around wanting to earn that agency to essentially, and we all know this one, to become that strategic business partner.

Jeremy · 17:08

What I like how you said, you know, executive, what do you say, executive suggesting?

Hilani · 17:14

Oh, recommendation.

Jeremy · 17:15

Recommendation, yeah. Recommendations instead of necessarily decisions. Sometimes you do make decisions, obviously. But like the recommendations, and I always said that, you know, if you're going to an executive, you know, one-on-one, or you're sitting down with your executive and you're talking about the agenda and you have questions for them or you need, you know, to clarify things. I always say, you know, don't ask a question that you haven't already answered yourself, or at least attempted to answer. Yeah. And that way, you know, because a lot of times that your executive isn't thinking about it and all of a sudden you throw this question out and they're kind of on the spot. And it's, you know, you're just like, well, what am I supposed to do? I don't know. I haven't thought about that. It's like, well, OK, I've thought about that. And here's the suggestion or the recommendation like you mentioned.

Hilani · 18:09

So that invites decision fatigue. It's also a pivot. I do have an article on my website that helps kind of elevate the way admins are having one on ones. And I give two recommendations in the free workbook that's downloadable. And I've gotten some feedback that, you know, but even by 15 or 20 percent, it's optimized the way that they're spending time, which, by the way, they're actually getting time with their leaders, which I know a majority of our listeners get bumped. And that could be a whole conversation, by the way, but we won't tangent for too long.

Jeremy · 18:38

Totally. Awesome. Well, okay. So now we kind of have an idea of what an executive is hungry for, what they're looking for. I know it seems like there's all these waves of job market craziness where there's layoffs and then there's hiring ramp ups, and then it kind of slows back down. And depending on the city you're in, depending on the industry you're in, or where you're looking, or what preferences you have, all those things taken into account, the job market can be stressful and overwhelming, and sometimes to be blunt, downright depressing.

Hilani · 19:25

Yeah, I just wrote the word emotional.

Jeremy · 19:27

Yeah.

Hilani · 19:28

Yeah.

Jeremy · 19:28

So, what would you, how would you encourage those who are in the hunt for a job, and maybe they've been in the hunt for months and months, how would you encourage them? And then let's get into, that's my first question, and then we'll get into more specifics about like, you know, maybe a quick tip for resumes or interviews, but in general, like to start off, how would you encourage people that have been looking and looking and looking, and they haven't found anything yet? The ping pong back and forth game of manually scheduling meetings is unnecessary and inefficient in today's automated world. It's time to embrace calendar automation for increased productivity and capacity. You Can Book Me by Capacity is my favorite automated booking solution. It's a game changer for me and my executive. You can manage scheduling for your entire executive team, send automated reminders, add buffer time between appointments, and much more. You Can Book Me integrates with your existing Microsoft and Google calendars, so you can add automation without disrupting your current workflow. Go to leaderassistant.com/calendar to learn more and sign up for a free trial of this powerful scheduling automation tool. That's leaderassistant.com/calendar.

Hilani · 21:01

So, I want to make sure that everyone knows, and by the way, for those that it's become your full-time job to find a job, even those passively looking, there's emotions in both buckets. And I'll fast forward, but then I'll rewind. I have talked to thousands, and I calculated it's like 7,000 admins one-on-one. Those that are in a long term, which, by the way, long term is now three months you're looking. Severance has run out. You know, unemployment is not enough. Your, excuse me, desperation for just wanting, just put me in the role and I'll show you how amazing I am. I'm clearly not good at articulating it. That sadness, it does come through in the call, which if you're having another call and you're trying to put on that pretty smile and that that strong face, they can hear it in your tone. And so leaving the job boards for a day and not looking, not applying, treat yourself to a smoothie or a coffee in a business district, dress up really nice, go sit on a bench. Hopefully the weather's good, right? Let the sun, if it's out, hit your face and remember through even an hour of reflection why you love to work. And by the way, why you love this profession, even if you only love it 80%, that's still loving it. And so when you have that introspective moment, and by the way, if you're a journaler or open your phone for a note app, start writing those things that remind you, I do love the Tetris. Yes, I'm sorry, I complained about it a lot, but I actually do love it, right? I love the spiciness of it and really own it. And by the way, if going and getting a coffee at a business district is not a fit for your finances, just then do it in your neighborhood. But the reason I recommend in a business district is I need you to be around business people again. And if we're at home in front of the screen, we have screen fatigue, we have, you know, job board fatigue. And then we have that resume, that job posting looks like the other one. God, they copy each other's, which, by the way, is a thing. And so I want to just highlight the emotion and I want to hand out a permission slip. Take a day off. Take a day off. Save your sanity because that insecurity of not landing a job yet, making it to the final round and not getting the offer, that emotion comes through. And I would like less of that for all of those looking.

Jeremy · 23:43

Yeah, that's great. Thanks for the encouragement. And I love the idea of just like dressing up, going out on the town, just like, yeah, sometimes just getting out of the house is just such a huge, huge help.

Hilani · 23:56

Yeah.

Jeremy · 23:57

Okay, so let's share maybe one, your top, your very top resume tip. You see somebody at a happy hour or you bump into an assistant in an elevator, and they're just like, oh, yeah, I'm working on my resume. And the elevator dings and you have to tell them really quickly.

Hilani · 24:17

Quickly.

Jeremy · 24:18

What's the one thing that you give them?

Hilani · 24:21

Your opening summary is not a regurgitation of the jobs and bullets below. Meaning, if I had $1,000 for every time I saw this, I'd like own $100,000 car. So I know that math doesn't work, but I'm just being exaggerated. Executive Assistant with 27 years of experience, and you can hear the sarcasm in my voice. 27 years of experience, powerful strategic partner, who's super great at calendar management and time management and great attention to detail. For someone that has seen more than the 7,000 calls, I've probably looked at about 10 or 11,000 resumes and then LinkedIn profiles on top of that. You guys are all saying that. I want to know, and this is personal branding, which I'm really passionate about. No, I want to know what makes Jeremy different. I want that opening summary to say, if you were to speak to any of my prior executives over the span of my career, they would tell you A, B, and C. You have actually addressed a reference call at the top of the resume. And there's ownership around how you know people see you, which tells me your brand is solid. And then there's a little bit of risk where it's like, Oh, if I called one of the references, I'm going to pull this resume back up. And is this person authentic? Is this person accurate? You need to imagine a trailer for a movie and your favorite, who's your favorite actor, actress, Jeremy? Ooh, that's tough.

Jeremy · 25:56

I mean, I really like anything that...

Hilani · 26:00

Adventure, Tom Cruise, maybe Top Gun.

Jeremy · 26:02

Tom Cruise is great in Mission Impossible. My boys and I love those movies. You can go with Tom Cruise for Mission Impossible.

Hilani · 26:08

So there's a commercial for a new movie, and Tom Cruise is in the first eight seconds. Are you hooked? You're in? You're like, I'm going to probably watch that.

Jeremy · 26:16

He's running. He's probably running. He's always running.

Hilani · 26:17

He's running, right? He's got the fast running. So because that first eight seconds of the 30 second trailer shows you Tom Cruise, who's a well-known, highly acclaimed, loved actor, you are more interested. So we have to use that opening summary on your resume. And I don't like cover letters, but I'll leave that aside. If you have that opening summary and it's catchy, it's a little bit of personality. You have created that first eight seconds of the trailer with Tom Cruise, like, I'm going to watch this whole trailer. We need to grab their attention beyond the eight seconds of their decision-making to want to look below. If they read yet again the 100th resume that says the darn opening for how many years, calendar management, it's like, this is the ding on our profession as admins. You guys, of course, then, will look all the same, because the resumes look the same. Make that opener unique and specific to you like your thumbprint.

Jeremy · 27:14

Love it. Can I ask a clarifying question on that?

Hilani · 27:18

Sure.

Jeremy · 27:19

So, would you recommend that opener? Obviously, it's unique to you. It's a hook. You know, it's that first eight seconds of the trailer to get them to continue to read. Would you put a specific number in there if you had a compelling data point, or would you make it more personal like, hey, I, you know, I supported, I helped manage the energy and time of a top Fortune 50 CEO? Like, would the specific data point, I know that's important in resumes in general, but would that be a good hook or is that more something you add later?

Hilani · 28:02

No, and you bring up a word that I am known for having on repeat. Specificity is key, and so because you're asking for more, I'm going to lean in to that. If you are, which by the way, if you supported Elon Musk, that goes in the cup, that goes in the opening.

Jeremy · 28:18

If you supported Tom Cruise.

Hilani · 28:20

Exactly, keeping with the theme of Tom. If you, and one thing that is capitalizing on your awesomeness as an admin, you could, to Jeremy's point here, responsible for organizing up to 30 company objectives weekly. They're like, well, I want to know more. That's what we're trying to create is I want to know more. And so, yes, also if it's a Fortune 50 CEO, we want that because it's interesting. And so try to avoid platitudes and go with the interesting, and I'm about specificity, which by the way, on the rest of the resume, do not just say calendar management, get to the specifics like I just provided, you know, managing up to five executive C-suite calendars, organizing anywhere between 30 to 50 calendar meetings a week or company objective activities. Try to avoid this rinse and repeat language that we've been using for decades, which is why they still see us the way they do, because we're not using new vocabulary.

Jeremy · 29:21

Yeah, makes sense. Awesome. Okay, and then the same question except interviews. If you got an interview tomorrow, and, you know, you've done all the research on the company, and you've done the research on the executive, you're maybe you're maybe even run into someone in the elevator literally on the way to the interview. Yeah, the next floor. What do you say?

Hilani · 29:45

And I'm having to pause because I only have one floor to tell this to them, and I've got a lot of exciting things running through my mind. And I want admins to be prepared to say what you onboarding yourself in the first 30 days looks like. So for the fast one floor recommendation, be prepared to say, in the first 30 days, I plan to, you know, operate and then fill in the blank.

Jeremy · 30:20

Gotcha. Super helpful. This is awesome. And I know we could talk about this for another hour or more, but I wanted to just let people know where they can find you and where they can learn more about you. And if they really do want to dive deep on interviews or resume or executive presence or branding and all the things. I know you've got a book coming out soon as well. So what, yeah, where's the best place for people to reach out and connect with you?

Hilani · 30:48

Very active on LinkedIn under Exceptional Admins. All of our EA stuff flows through there. We have weekly polls that are really fun to kind of get into the heads of other people in the profession. You're right. I have a book coming out and it will be out soon here in 2025. And it's not an executive assistant book, but an executive assistant absolutely could read it. It's written about four leaders and it's all on the concept of capacity, the new advantage and how we need to be thinking about that as we work and optimize ourselves each day. And there's a variety of resources on exceptionaladmins.com, everything from job searching, one-on-one meetings, workbooks, free guides. We also have some fun assessments and we really made a large sort of go-to library to feed the needs of pretty much anyone at any point in their career here in the administrative profession.

Jeremy · 31:42

Love it. I'll put all of those links in the show notes at leaderassistant.com/317. Again, leaderassistant.com/317 and check out all the information and reach out to Hilani and check out all the great resources she's put together and her team's put together. And yeah, I'm excited for, congrats on the upcoming book. Excited to check that out and congrats on just really fighting for the assistance of the world and, you know, helping those executives get matched up with with leader assistance of the world.

Hilani · 32:16

Thank you, Jeremy. And thank you for all the work that you're doing for everyone, too. Have a great day.

Jeremy · 32:21

Thanks, Hilani.

Speaker 3 · 32:33

Please review on Apple Podcasts. gobullos.com.

Jeremy · 32:47

Hey, friends, my best-selling book, The Leader Assistant, has a companion study and discussion guide to go along with it. It's called The Leader Assistant Workbook. Now, you can buy the Kindle ebook version of The Leader Assistant Workbook on Amazon, or you can go to leaderassistantbook.com and get a printable PDF version of the workbook. This version has all the space and margin in between the questions that you can write your own answers and take notes with. So it's a great way to print it out and keep track of your discussion and study guide notes. Again, go to leaderassistantbook.com and click on Workbook to check out The Leader Assistant Workbook.